So, A Murderer Goes Free and We Will Elect His Accomplice Next Year? Extraordinary!
November 29, 2008
Malaysian betul-betul negara cacat. It is the only sentence that I believe I can start this blog with and I don’t care if I get arrested by the ISA or the Install Son-in-law of Abdullah. I am a mere student and what harm can I do to the government? What can my mere ranting and raving do to bring down a regime that prides itself in the glow of corruption and greed? It’ll stop me with its corruption anyway. I can’t stop this phenomenal force. Even if they read this, the ISA is full of shit anyway. The original problem was to contain the threat to the nation aka terrorists and Communists back in the hey-day of Chin Peng but now, it is to preserve the current so-called National Front government from falling off its knees.
Speaking of National Front, the current Deputy Prime Minister of our glorious government is called Najib. I call him “bijan” or sesame in English because he comes as flaky and untrustworthy after the Altantuya case. I can’t trust a politician who is incited to the courts for a murder trial. Feck, in America, did you know what happen to Nixon? He was facing impending impeachment and he resigned. And you know what he did? Watergate! And what did Najib do? Blow up a Mongolian model to kingdom come and instead of being this straight laced Muslim as portrayed by the media, he with that Abdul Razak Baginda did something that in any other country would have gotten you kicked out from your post, not by a jury of your peers or colleagues at the Parliament but by the people.
To top that off, the monkey at Putrajaya, the guy whose benevolence for corruption after seeding himself as a religious scholar during his tenure in the government in the pre-PM stages, is going to step down next year. You know what will happen right? Our sixth Prime Minister would be Tan Sri Najib, the murderer. Idi Amin killed lots of people in Uganda and he’s a good leader right? Of course he is. He made the best cigars, whiskeys and entertainment come to his country so that can’t be bad amidst the poverty, hunger and genocide, right?
Abdul Razak goes free because they can’t pin him to any evidence or that Najib interfered with the case. Whatever it is, the association with Najib, ARB and Altantuya is considerably close and with that bozo free, any chance to turn this country to around would be a miracle. You let go of the murderer, the accomplice goes free as well.
For a leader, I don’t trust a closet homosexual, a cheating former Health Minister or a murdering dynastic ruler… all I want is that my country elects someone who actually does some change and get shit done. No, I don’t want Raja Petra as well. Bloggers are not the best leaders because we live repressed lives. We hate everything and to do the post of the people we hate, it kinda makes us into this puddle of guilt and making blogs about parliamentary life is tough so, no, I don’t want him at Putrajaya but rather behind the computer.
Basically, let’s just give a warm welcome to our next Prime Minister, a murderer.
Malaysia Bans Yoga for Muslims – Weren’t We Built on that Foundation?
November 22, 2008
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7743312.stm
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/11/22/nation/20081122111842&sec=nation
I have lost my sense of cultural identification about my people as of today. I am no longer proud to be a Muslim in Malaysia because of such close-minded maneuvers by the fatwa council or as I would like to call it, “Fuck-all Council”. As a Muslim who frequents himself alternative exercises through meditation and yoga (due to large quantity of mass underneath the arm), I find this decree by some council of evil in a Kuala Lumpur building as they swallow in their massive dose of curry chicken with briyani rice, to be really disturbing. Let’s go through the ideas of why do they justify it as haram.
“Haram” is best described as “forbidden”. Many things are forbidden in Islam such as the consumption of alcohol and pork, pre-marital sex, adultery, wearing smexy clothing (yes, intentional spelling mistake) and of course, shirking Him and his religion. However, yoga on the other hand was originally getting yourself straightened up and controlled and united. This practice began earlier from the commentaries of the Vedas until it was developed further from the Upanishads. There are many types of yoga out there such as the raja.
So, why is yoga haram? Because what the council has done is taken the context that the yoga is a Hindu thing and it is haram because it is submiting to another god. Well, the kind people of the council have forgotten one thing and that is to investigate what kind of yoga is going on in the Malaysian backyard. If it tantra, by all means fucking stop it but for Christ’s sakes, if it is about liberating the mind through yoga and meditation which is a known stress reliever and HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE HINDU DEITIES, please, GO WASTE YOUR TIME SOMEWHERE ELSE! The only thing that has the connotation of God is that it asks you to submit to Him. Yeah, I would submit to God after I tie my legs around my head for God knows how long. I submit to the pain and I submit to awesomeness of Hin because I then realize why he has given me two legs.
Now, does this mean the council is wrong? Yes, they were. One, they kinda broke the law of freedom of religion and freedom of speech but that is getting thrown of the window by the ISA and the assholes in the UMNO building wielding and brandishing their keris. Therefore, what the Council did is wrong. It was wrong of them to decree it as such and then, force it down people’s throat. Secondly, they cannot define what is culture and fitness over the words of God. Frankly, the Fatwa Council’s understanding of the good book is askewed. I am not in any position to definitively put my foot into anything but, I can ask so I ask: Where does it say in the book that I cannot bend down and stretch my hind legs over my head? Where are such religious connotations? If one does not understand the words of they are chanting but they use it as a timer, is it haram? Where is my 30 acres and a mule? Answer me this and I’ll tell you the secrets of the universe.
But folks, let us be serious. Malaysia was founded on the basis of unity and the common traditions that all races have poured into the Malayan soil since the time of Palembang. If we digress ourselves from the secular into the religious and cannot differentiate culture and fitness over screwing up the fabric of God’s idea of goodness (footbaths), we are no better off than the radicals in Iran or the Taliban. Come on, yoga teaches good things like how to do something with a member of your body orally. Think that for a sec. Is that really bad?
#1: F*** the Beijing Olympics
August 17, 2008
Ladies and gentlemen, I will be starting a new rant title from the emo continuation that will be titled, “The F*** Blog”. Fayte Happens will now be circled completely behind the ideal that everything is fucking and should be deemed fuckable by nature. So, let’s start by giving a round of applause to our first big F*** to the Olympics.
THE OLYMPICS
National pride, chance to show greatness or complete waste of time; the Beijing Olympics stands out as one of the most expensive sporting event in history, if you do not include the 1232B.C. Olympics held in Olympia where the opening ceremony included a car key and orgy party. This 20 billion dollar endeavor by the Chinese to show off their greatness has been clouded by constant protest, blocking off websites, controversies over young Olympic gymnasts and a lip-syncing 7 year old. By far, this Olympics could be considered great or completely screwed up as many fallacies fall through the cracks, whereby we pick it up, glue it together and take a massive giant dump over it.
If you have watched the Olympics, you will realize that the Olympics is nothing more than a swell of gathering between countries to show off their gluts and abs. This is nothing more than high school reunion except where you get throw into a toilet doing a swirlie with a side of wedgie. Olympics tend to bring out the worst in people as they bring out national pride, overactive sweat glands, feigning hope and stratification of racist ideas that blacks run better.
The most wretched thing to watch in the Olympics is the events itself. Now, I love the Winter Olympics just because of the interesting sport of Curling . The only event worth watching in the Summer Olympics is Greco-Roman wrestling because nothing justifies the Olympics is gay than the aforementioned event. Two men going at each other and with snapshots and photography available to the modern world, homoerotic jokes appear frequently on the Interwebs. Frankly, the only gayer than people watching the wrestling events in Olympics is the people watching rythmic gymnastic. Rythmic gymnastic? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WATCHING?? This looks like something I see in porn videos. That is not a sport or art, it’s a form of lap dancing.
not gay, nope...
I don’t really care about the Olympics these days. Most of the time, the Olympics is a chance to just make other countries sad as a rabbit thrown down a bridge as the big names in the Olympics (China, the United States, Great Britain and Russia) keep winning the medals. There is no way in a Hell’s chance that your country might win anything unless your country is known for it. Like Mongolia is known for equastrian, archery and wrestling while Malaysia is know for eating and playing badminton. Competitive eating should be a sport cause goddamnit, WE CAN WIN THAT!!!
In any consolation, the only great about the Olympics is the shared idea of brotherhood that we rarely see in sports. Because with the word “ideal”, comes with the words, “false truths”. So far, they are duped into brotherhood and the idea that China is a great country. It’s not really a great one after such controversies. F*** the Olympics!
For now, let’s give you a Motivational Poster, a staple of this new series to give a point where I really hated this specific Beijing Olympics 2008.
The Chinese girl should have been replaced by these two...
“No Motherland Without You” // “Tang-shin-i Eops-eu-myeon Jo-guk-do Eop-da” lyrics from Hangul to Romanized
사나운 폭풍도 쳐몰아내고
신념을 안겨준 김정일동지
당신이 없으면 우리도 없고,
당신이 없으면 조국도 없다 !
미래도 희망도 다 맡아주는
민족의 운명인 김정일동지
당신이 없으면 우리도 없고,
당신이 없으면 조국도 없다 !
세상이 열백번 변한다해도
인민은 믿는다 김정일동지
당신이 없으면 우리도 없고,
당신이 없으면 조국도 없다 !
sa-na-un pok-pung-do cheo-mo-ra-nae-go
sin-nyeo-meul an-gyeo-jun gim-jeong-il-dong-ji
dang-si-ni eop-sseu-myeon u-ri-do eop-kko,
dang-si-ni eop-sseu-myeon jo-guk-tto eop-tta !
mi-rae-do hi-mang-do da ma-ta-ju-neun
min-jo-gui un-myeong-in gim-jeong-il-dong-ji
dang-si-ni eop-sseu-myeon u-ri-do eop-kko,
dang-si-ni eop-sseu-myeon jo-guk-tto eop-tta !
se-sang-i yeol-baek-ppeon byeon-han-da-hae-do
in-mi-neun min-neun-da gim-jeong-il-dong-ji
dang-si-ni eop-sseu-myeon u-ri-do eop-kko,
dang-si-ni eop-sseu-myeon jo-guk-tto eop-tta !
Now, you’re wondering, hey Fayte, why the fuck post here since you are a blog traitor and don’t update it much. Well, now, I am working on my Aranea wiki and my various ideas for movie projects. This song just inspires me to make a small part of a movie so keep an eye out for updates.
Emos: Why so sad? Did someone kick you in the crotch?
March 11, 2007
Here’s another bunch of people I hate. The emos. I thought emo means emotional. That’s a whole lot of cracker ass of lies. I have never seen so many lies hidden behind the word ‘emotional’. It was a word for when a guy in the group who cries too much because he is effeminate. Now, it is for these assholes who see the world for being dark. Well, let me tell you, my dark clad friend, this world is going to get much harder with me kicking your ass verbally.
Emos are predominately white people who are… ARE living in a middle income family to a high income family. This is the lousiest excuse these kids can ever give to me for being an emo. Poor people have the right to be sad but they put a smiling face on every day while you rich cocksuckers are crying because you missed your trip to the mall with your friends. What the fuck is wrong with you? It’s just one day and you then decide to wear black, wear black eyeliners, put on piercings, paint your black and listen to that hardcore metal satanic rock crap played by people named Todd and Chad who perhaps are not even emo, hardcore or even metal but more towards gay.
And why do you white kids cut yourselves? What is so sad about life that you wanna use a butterfly knife and slice every single area on your arm? If you want death, I can grant you one. I want you to literally go to the highest building in your state on every Monday on every 1st week of the month and help me set up a new festival call ‘Fuck Life’. What you do is basically gather at the rooftops with the others and simultaneously, at 11 o’ clock in the morning when the wind is blowing exact at 3 miles per hour towards the south-eastern side, I want you people to hold each other’s hand and jump to your death. That way, it is not only fast but fun. Thrill seeking emos love this. Or, or, I have a better way you could kill yourself. Get AIDS. Simple. AIDS. You are fully entitled to a slow and utterly painless death. You maybe coughing some blood and bleeding from orifice but you won’t need to buy a knife. Save your money for the coffin your mom and dad have to buy later. If you are Buddhist and you died in either way, I am going to squash you with my fist when you come back.
Now, a friend of mine complained that these people are sad because of something in their life has moved past them. For example, their girlfriend left them. FUCK YOU! What is wrong with you? Earth has 6 billion inhabitants and you can’t find others. Are you out of your fucking mind? Can’t you find another? Are you some sort of anti-social asshole? Need help? Yeah? Well, I have an uncle who would love to teach you a lesson about love. And, he would turn you gay in an instant if you are not careful. Or, ask Ken Titus. He knows about women, wussy and he’ll give you a lesson in how to find a woman, trick her into marrying you and fucking her up by the second day of the union prompting her to ask for a divorce immediately. Emos, you bunch of fucking pussies. You have lost your balls somewhere along the road so let me rectify the situation for you. Black people live in horrid conditions (ghetto), having be near shot about 10 times in their lives and having their house robbed nearly every year. White people live in substandard conditions, never been shot once and have their iPods stolen by some school bullies. Who has it worst? Don’t give the crap that my only copy of Metallica songs are in there. You have money, a decent roof over your head and you COULD afford an iPod. Don’t give me stupid excuses for being emo and if you should ever come up and scream at me for offending you because you have it hard, I’ll tell you about the time I had a construction steel rod go through my leg when I was a child and it made me immobile for half a year. Tell me who has it bad; you or me?
One of the Many Reasons Why White People Shouldn’t Dance
March 5, 2007
http://thatvideosite.com/view/2308.html
‘Nuff said.
Korki Buchek: Kazakhstan National Pop Sensation
March 5, 2007
Korki Buchek was heard once during the movie, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit of the Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan when Borat spoke to some inner-city teens about what kind of songs he like and he exclaimed, “You know, the Korki Buchek, he go like “Bing bang bing bang bing bing bing bing bing bing bang bing bang *clicks* *clicks*” and one of the teens said, “You gotta lick it before you kick it!”
He was also seen in an ad for MTV Europe Music Awards as this 40 something year old man playing the hammered dulcimer while singing his famed song and on the side, a woman was fanning a bonfire simulating a fog machine (which cracks me the fuck up). He has become a hit thanks to the documentary made by Borat and now, I believe many more will buy his album (in the fictional Kazakhstan).
Surprisingly, he has a Myspace page. And you can hear the magnificence of his hit song, ‘Bing Bang’ on it http://boyakasha.co.uk/media/korki_buchek.mp3
Road to Partition
March 3, 2007
Road to Partition
by Symphix
We two states
A barrier blocks us
We, the same children of Mother India
Separated by religion
Hindu and Muslim
No difference between us
As all blood are same
In deep red it appears
Blood brothers, both of us
Why do we let the people
Who know nothing what we are
Separate us
Same colour of skin and blood
Only different faiths
Living for 700 years
In harmony
Peace on our India
We lived among ravaged lands
Of misunderstanding and distrust
For all Mother India wants
Is us to be together
Bapu died in her arms
And our petty argument grew
Can’t us
the Hindus of the modern India
the Muslims of Pakistan and Bangladesh
Live side by side
Under the flag
Of one united India
The road to partition was tough
The road to unity will be harder
Shall we
Hand in hand work together
What say you, brother?
I don’t hate the French. I hate Paris and the stereotype of the French. I hate Paris because they just passed a law prohibiting smoking in public places. This also means you can’t smoke at a bar. Yes, I would love to go to a place to commit debauchery and not commit more of it. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM??? Justify the means of why we can’t smoke in a bar! I know I don’t smoke but people go there to wallow their pain with alcohol and smoke.. And you think by making the asshole stop smoking he wouldn’t die. I mean, he would get in a car and crash into the Eiffel TOWER!!!
“At least I stop him from getting lung cancer.”
Well, I think you have brain cancer for not letting some guy die in his pain with alcohol and smoke which is normally slow. Parisians, think before you act. I know it is healthy but the Earth is dead. Yes, Greenpeace, you can’t do jack… SQUAT!!!
As much as I have a hate-love relation with the city of Paris, I really hate Paris. Paris Hilton. This is the heir that is going to take over the Hilton hotel chain? This brainless blond dolt is the best you have? Let’s not talk about the other but this bitch is supposed to be hot?
“Hot…? Yeah! Dumb…? Yeah! Will be a good mother….? FUCK NO!”
If you compare Britney Spears and Paris Hilton if they become (or is) a mother, they fail miserably in every aspect. They fail to the point where rats should have sex and that’s about it.
“Blonds just wanna have fun.”
This statement is such an understatement. In fact, this should be the replacement quote.
”Blonds enjoy life to the fullest that it seems every one you impregnate, six hundred more will be made.”
Talentless hack, she is. Horrible actress, she is. Awful singing, perform she can. This woman has done more DUI than Ken Titus. I really don’t get her. She really is the worst and most awfully spoilt woman… sorry, ATTENTION WHORE in the world. People think with her in your party, it has become a real party but in light of my research, she will die at a very young age. She is going to do a speedball and die like Belushi and Farley. Unlike Belushi and Farley, she isn’t talentless at all. She sings about how rich she is and how people should be like her.
Miss Hilton, I want you to go to Oakland or the blackest part of Harlem and sing a song called “Fuck the Police” but change the word ‘police’ to the word you feel about the place. Then, I want you to see their reaction. If a mob has begun, stand there and do nothing. If no mob is formed, I want you to do some public obscenities in front of them and stand there with your crotch a-hanging. DON’T MOVE AT ANY POINT DURING THE STRUGGLE! Oh, I need someone to make sure the man with the longest penis in the world and who also holds the highest sexual tension in the world to be there so she could be impaled right through the CUNT!!!!
Madonna: Fffffff……ucking HEKK!!!
March 1, 2007
I was watching MTV today. I hate MTV. It was supposed to be about the music but they lost their way. I guess the birds ate all the breadcrumbs as they are trying to find a way back home. In fact, I am going to quote Lewis Black here.
“MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!”
“Instead of MTV, they should have called it the Boner Network. Kids come home and say, ‘MOM! I’m going watch MTV!’ and they press their little peckers on the screen.”
MTV was showing a show with Madonna and something to do with pimps. I thought I might be watching the Snoop Dogg Pimp n Ho Hour but no. It was something else. It was late in the night. I was tired and I needed a rest with all the shit that is going in my head and then, Madonna uttered the word no white person should use in any…. ANY context WHATSOEVER! In fact, if she did, I hope the Karballah is listening because they should KICK HER OUT!
The word was ‘pimp juice’. I know what a ‘pimp juice’ is. She, like the 40 year old cunt as she is, doesn’t know what it is. You know why Snoop Dogg and his pimp pals are carrying in that goblet. Pimp juice. You might think, hey, Fayte is saying it is alcohol…. well, you’re wrong shit head… I asked a black man on the streets what the fuck is pimp juice is and he said in his native tongue and I quote:
“Well, first off, whenever Iam makin’ luv to ma’ woman [his girlfriend/mistress/wife], the bitch [the aforementioned woman] has to be takin in’er badonkadonk [posterior]. She’ll be like, ‘Cum [orgasm] now!’ and I’ll will like slap [continue the sexual act of slapping one's bottom] the ho’[the aforementioned woman] and spray pimp juice in’er ass [anus].”
I have searched through the archives, several dictionaries and looked up many encyclopedias and I finally understand what ‘pimp juice’ meant. It was not an alcoholic beverage but it was more of a name. It was a black code. I thought ‘pimp juice’ would be the codeword for the D-Day in Iraq or a name of a rapper brand of an energy drink. I found out by accident when watching a porno, that I masturbated myself for 4 hours (I had no more fuel left) that ‘pimp juice’ was the slang for ‘semen’. If you don’t know what ‘semen’ is ladies, it is what us men orgasm. Semen or sperm, same thing. Contains genetic codes to structure a child and Madonna was gulping it down as though it is a vanilla smoothie.
Now, whenever I see Madonna, I see her drinking semen. I just can’t take it anymore. White people, please stop the madness that is in my head. You people have done a lot of things that have ruined cultures around the world so, please…. stop! And Madonna, you cunt! DRESS LIKE YOUR AGE, YOU WHORE! I don’t how MILF-ing fucking hot you are but dress decently, SON OF A BITCH! J K Rowling, author of Harry Potter, a children’s novel. You wrote a children’s story book (other than your illustrious career as whore, slut, singer, not a virgin). And you dress like the bitches I can find at the Spearmint Rhino (stripclub, which I have never been… fucking underage rules…) So, dress decently and don’t follow Afro-American slangs, I hate it, the blacks hate, us comedians love it so change before people get an emotional breakdown.
